


Limerence

by uswnt_talex_krashlyn



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2018-07-26 13:38:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7576006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uswnt_talex_krashlyn/pseuds/uswnt_talex_krashlyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christen was "just friends" with Tobin so when a certain Frat-daddy catches her eye, there won't be any problems. Right?</p><p>College au</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just A Distraction?

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I'm sorry for the summery  
> 2\. IM MAKING THIS UP AS I GO so don't read too much into the order of the tags or relationships.  
> 3\. This was just a little inspired by my discovery of the twitter tag #kelleyroast. That shit is hilarious

Obsessed is a strong word. 

Christen preferred crush. I mean. LOOK at Tobin. How could she not have a little bit of limerence toward her. 

So from time to time when christen would linger the extra second, or when she would tilt her head slightly and stair into Tobin's eyes, Julie would be sure to call her out on it. 

"She's straight, You know that Chris. I'm just worried this little obsession you have is going to end up hurting you. "

" I don't have an obsession. Don't be dramatic. Everyone gets to have a little straight girl crush once in a while"

Julie usually just shook her head and tried to ignore the Googley eyes christen was giving Tobin. 

But last night was different. Christen knew it and so did Julie. 

Julie invited Chris and some other friends from the team out for a Bon fire on the beach. Which, she failed to mention, had been mixed in with a frat group. 

Of course Tobin was there

'Jesus fuck of course she's here looking like that' christen thinks as Tobin arrives in the bed of some friends pick up truck. Tobin's wearing black jeans with holes in the knee and thighs. With a white v neck that she pulls off way to well for it to be considered fair. 

Tobin had walked up to the group and slung her arm around christen's shoulder. 

'She's straight Chris. Don't push her. Don't lose your friend.'

As soon as this thought grazed her mind christen was being handed a red solo cup and was toasting with Tobin to a successful season. 

After two more gulps christen was ready to dance. She always did get a little more handsy when she drank vodka. 

"Dance with me Toby?”

Tobin smiled unfairly bright up at her and grabbed her hand and they headed to the small group of people dancing. 

They started out facing eachother. A good foot of distance between them. But when a (admittedly attractive) jock walked up behind Tobin and started whispering things in her ear, christen had had enough. So she stormed away (a bit sassier than usual) and sat down in one of the lawn chairs set up around the huge fire pit. 

Realizing that she wasn't nearly drunk enough to think about Tobin and some guy grinding together, christen got up and headed over to the small shack were she had observed alcohol coming from. 

She walked inside the admittedly well kept mini bar that seemed fully stocked and started reading all the different labels that lined the wall. 

The door swung open behind her and she jumped just a little. 

The stranger behind her was beautiful. Christen thought anyone with eyes could see that. 

The stranger had brown eyes too. But unlike Tobin's they weren't soft. But they also weren't hard. 

As the girls lip lifted slightly into a smirk on the left side christen decided that her eyes were filled with something much more fun.

Mischief. 

Christen suddenly became very aware that the stranger is staring right back. Both of them just standing there. Examining eachother. 

But for some reason she doesn't seem threatening. Her light pink lips still pulled up into a loose smirk. Her hair long brown waves that Christen can barely see, past her backwards SnapBack. She has freckles that dance across her perfect nose and cheekbones. Christens eyes slowely lower and examine her tank that shows off her toned arms. She's wearing board shorts so it's obvious she's a surfer. 

Christen can feel the girl's gaze on her face again and she looks up to be met with an even bigger smirk. This time her eyes crinkle slightly and the mischief is so bright in her eyes it brings a small smile to Christen's lips. 

She tilts her head slightly to the left, still obviously, unashamedly staring at Chisten's lightly clothed figure. 

Then. As if she had done the math in her head and decided what Christen's planes for the rest of the night would be, she steps forward. 

Within the small shack(by now Christen is calling it a bar) she's only about a foot away. 

"Impressive isn't it"

At first Chris has no idea what she was talking about. Then she start to wonder if this stranger is talking about herself. 'Oh god. Another arrogant surfer chick who thinks she's the center of the world.' 

She squints her eyes a little. And if Christen didn't know better she would swear the girl was looking straight into her mind. 

Then she leans her head forward a little and practically whispers 

"The alcohol I mean. This stash. The guy who owns the small restaurant down there keeps it fully stalked. Says the college students on the beach are better for business than they are in his place." 

The stranger stared into Christen's eyes now as if she had just won some game they were playing. The smirk on her face strong, but different. Now she smiled but she smiled at the ground as if she were remembering an old memory. 

Then she bites her bottom lip and Christen gets a glance at her prefect key white teeth. She slowely raises her head and the two are now eye level. Her smirk still evident under her bitten lip and the crinkle in her eyes still happy. 

"I'm Kelley"

'She's cocky.' But there's something else there so Christen entertains the conversation. 

"Christen" she answers with a nod of her head and a small smile. 

Then she surprises you with her boldness. She takes another step forward so that there's only a few inches in between their faces. 

"Well christen... I'm surprised I haven't seen you around before"

She stumbles over her words at her close proximity. Then, slowly, Christen regains her head and answers her. Matching her smirk 

"I'm surprised too. I definitely would have remembered you"

Now it's Kelleys turn to stumble over her words. But she doesn't. As if skipping her turn in the card game she just maintains eye contact and lowers her gaze on Christen. Her brown eyes taking on a new shade of dark that Christen thinks she could get used too. They're dangerous. Risky. Mischievous. 

Kelley puts one hand on Christen’s shoulder and slowly slides it to the right so that her hand if partially touching her neck. 

Christen gulps. Almost audibly. But the girl seems to almost feed on her desire because she speaks. Teasing her.

"Is this okay... Christen?"

Her smirk has only grown. Your eyes start to hood over as her other hand snakes to your side. 

You realize you haven't answered the question and you criticize yourself for not having more control. 

So you put both hands over her shoulders. Hands resting in the air behind her. And your whisper in her ear as you move closer,

"This.. -  
You place a small fleeting kiss just under her ear, and you pause for only a second to make sure Kelley could feel your breathe on her neck  
\- this is perfect"

You finish satisfied as Kelley had closed her eyes and clenched her jaw. 

You then take a step back. Remove your arms from her and quickly walk past her toward the exit. 

You get into the sand again and realize you left without returning with what you came for. So you open the door to reveal a shocked looking Kelley, grab the nearest bottle and shuffle back out the door. But not before shooting Kelley the cockiest grin you can muster up. 

 

The door is closed for maybe a second before the girl named Kelley comes bounding out of the shack/bar and is quickly walking up behind you. 

You smile slightly when she starts walking next to you as if you are old friends. 

But then, right when your about to enter the mosh pit of people, she stops you. Grabs your wrist gently but with purpose. Your other hand still holding what you had discovered to be tequila. 

She stands in front of you. Demanding your attention on her. 

"That wasn't very nice" 

She whispers seductively in your ear

"Well, you were distracting me"

"Do you find me distracting christen?"

Each time she says your name you swear you get a little more turned on. 

So, still trying to gain control in the game, you gently move your head back so she's facing you. You pull of her SnapBack and place it backwards on your head. 

"Why don't you go find us a seat so you can distract me some more"

To say your proud of yourself would be an understatement. So Kelley holds your wrist and leads you to one of the chairs around the bonfire. She pulls it back only slightly. 

You take a large swig of the tequila in your hand. Just to ensure you don't chicken out.

You gently push Kelley onto the chair and it sinks slightly into the sand. She smirks up at you as you carefully place a knee on the outside of each of hers. You carefully set the bottle in the sand next to you and lower yourself down on Her lap.

She seems pleased and looks up at you and slightly readjusts her SnapBack on your head. You return her smirk and move all of your hair to the right side of your shoulder and lean down until your faces are only inches apart. 

"Your very beautiful, did you know that christen?"

Something about the smirk on her face combined with the shine of her eyes and you just can't help yourself, so you lick your lips just a little.

"And you're very distracting, did you know that Kelley?"

With that she places both hands on either side of your hips and her eyes flicker down to your lips. You look into her lust filled eyes once more before moving your full lips to her thin pink ones. 

They're soft. As you slowly and surprisingly passionately move your lips in sync. You put your left hand on Kelley's neck and your right travels down to her rib cage. 

Kelley runs her tongue against your bottom lip and you inhale sharply and open your mouth. Her tongue is dominant. And you let it be, she controls you in a way you hadn't seen coming.

So to try and make up for ground lost you push your hand on her ribs gently under her shirt and scratch down her stomach 

'Holy shit she's ripped' you think as you hear a small moan escape her lips. Her breathing increases and so does yours as your mind wanders to your head between her legs. 

Her hands snake down from your hips until they're gently Cupping your ass. Then all at once she roughly squeezes your ass and pushes her tongue deep into your mouth. You moan. Mindful of the people all around you (that are far too drunk to pay attention to you), Kelley swallows your moan and continues massaging your ass. 

"Kelley...."

You try to get the strangers attention in between breaths and kisses. 

Finally you move both hands to her shoulders and push yourself back slightly. 

"Are you okay?.." She asks in between breaths. 

The genuine concern in her voice catches you off guard. So you quickly soothe her

"Yea! Yea.. I'm fine it's just... I'm getting.. A little worked up for us to be sitting on the beach"

A large smile, one you hadn't seen before breaks out across her face.  
'She has a beautiful smile' you think. 

And you weren't really ready for what happens next either. 

She picks her SnapBack off your head and puts it back on her own and lifts you into the air while you continue to straddle her. She starts walking back up to where her car is, presumably. 

You laugh into her shoulder as she holds onto the back of your thighs to carry you. 

"What's so funny"  
She asks. A bit of an accent poking out that you hadn't noticed before 

"Nothing. I just usually don't do this"

"What's 'this'?"

"Fuck the hot Frat girl I met at the beach party"

Kelley laughs at your bluntness. 

"Well I've heard I can be distracting"

Then Every thing went black. 

When you start to gain concouseness your vision is a little blurry but you can hear panicked yelling above you. You think it's Kelley. But there's someone else. Someone not a mischievous. Someone very serious. You can tell this. Even in your half concouse state. 

You try to sit up but then it's like someone hit you in the head with a hammer right smack in the back of your skull. 

Everything is so dark and you can hear Kelleys voice. It's the last thing you remember before things go completely black. 

 

When you wake up your not sure where you are. It's morning. You can tell by the light that is giving you a level 9 headache. 

You squint your eyes. 

'Shit this is not a hangover. My head. Holy shit'

You try to sit up but there is someone quickly beside you. 

"Hey shhhh... Just lay down its okay"

You squint harder trying to make out the figure a foot away from your face. 

Then your vision collects and it's the girl from last night. You look down. 'Hmm still have my cloths on"

The girl. Karen.. Kristie.. KELLEY!! Kelley. That's it. Well Kelley must think this is funny because she lets out a chuckle at you making sure your still fully clothed. 

"Where am I"

"My dorm"  
Kelley says with a sheepish smile that makes you think something happened. 

"Did we have sex?!" You ask, and its more of a whisper scream, considering your not sure if she has a roommate, As you literally remember nothing except Kelley carrying you last night. 

She chuckles again "not quite. Just stay still okay. You kind of took a blow to the head last night. Just take it easy"

Your eyes pop out of your face. 

She looks sorry. Did we crash? Did I fall off the bed or something?

"Kelley.. What happened last night"

"Well umm..."

You've never seen her look this uncertain. Last night everything was calculated. Cool. Calm. Now she's stammering and won't make eye contact with you. 

"Kelley."

You sternly try and sit up. You get maybe an inch. 

"My.... My ex. Her name is hope.. Um... She was at the bonfire last night. "

"Okay and..." 

"Umm. Well she must have seen us because. Well. She kind of hit you. With a glass bottle. On the head."

Your not sure what to say now. Because Kelley is switching between looking at you with these puppy eyes and staring at the floor. But also because who the fuck hits someone with a beer bottle. 

"Where's my phone?"  
Kelley quickly scrambles from her kneeling position next to the coach and brings you your cell phone. 

The light hurts your eyes when You turn it on 

"Shit. Kelley you might have to drive me to the ER"

Her eyes widen and then she understands. So You call Julie and let her know about your current predicament. And also that you weren't chopped up into pieces when You didn't return last night. When You end the call You look up and see Kelley just staring at you. She quickly looks away. Nothing like the cocky girl You were with last night in the shack. You hold back a smile slightly. 'She feels bad.' You can see it in the way her eye brows furrow everytime You look in discomfort. 

She grabs her keys and starts to walk out the door

"Uhh Kelley?"

She looks over at you struggling to get off the couch and her eyes fill with too many emotions to count. But she runs over and gently puts one hand on my ribcage and the other on your shoulder. Effectively steadying you. 

"Thanks" you squeek as she stares at you deep In thought. 'There's something about herShe really cares. It's weird. '

"Umm... You your welcome. There's an elevator. So you don't have to take any stairs. " and with that she is silent, The rest of the drive. She stays the whole ER visit. Then she drives you home. No concusion. THANK GOD. Your sure Kelley might have started crying if You had a head injury because of her crazy girlfriend. Ex girlfriend that is. 

 

You tell her where my dorm is and she drives you there in relative silence. 

"Look christen I'm soo sorry. I didn't mean to put you in danger. You deserve-"

You cut her off 

You gently lean across the consul in her car and kiss her lips. Gently. Strangely passionately once again. Her lips feel strong. And You melt into them. But then You pull back and slowely make your way to the door. Kelley walks next to you. Protectively. 

She starts to apologize once again 

"Kel.. Stop"

She looks down with a soft smile. 

"Do you wanna get coffee tomorrow. Maybe. I mean if you have plans or-" 

"Kelley. Yes I will get coffee with you tomorrow. I don't have any classes after lunch. "

"That's perfect!" She responds. 

It felt oddly domestic, the way Kelley is staring at you and your feet seem to be having issues because they certainly are not moving. And it's also very fast. So You decided to make a little joke and whisper in her ear

"Best one night stand ever"

At this she chuckles and says goodbye. You walk inside. Now fully aware and Julie is sitting there on the couch drinking a cup of coffee with Tobin. 

'Shit why is she here'

But then You look closer and Tobin is wrapped in a blanket and Julie is holding her, it becomes blatantly obvious what is happening. Tobin is crying.


	2. Imagination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW IT HAS BEEN FOREVER. Let me know what u think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLease please please comment, making this up as i go

Society has this common misconception that people who can't comfort others are somehow heartless or unsympathetic. 

But really Christen Press just truly and genuinely did not know how to deal with any crying person. All throughout her life, it didn't matter if it was her best friend, Christen would normally just either completely avoid people when they were crying or awkwardly side huge them. And it's not that she doesn't care about their feelings or personal problems, she usually just felt extremely uncomfortable in the face of all that crumbling. 

So when you make eye contact with Julie she simply nods her head and you almost run to your room. Once inside your room you proceed to shower and change from the clothes that you had been wearing for approximately 12 hours now. 

Cursing yourself for your efficiency you sit on your bed and try to play some dumb game on your phone, realizing it had only been about 15 minutes and the crying is probably still ensuing. A few minutes later you receive a text from an unknown number and immediately a smirk spreads across your face.

\- Meet me at 1? ;)

You quickly type out a response before you can convince yourself that you have too much homework that you certainly didn't do last night. 

\- See you there!

Visions of last night flood into your head, and not in the agonizingly painful way that a glass bottle does, but more in the way of Kelley's hands on your ass and her abs pushing up into your hand. You can feel the blush creep across your face and suddenly realize you only have about 40 minutes before your class starts. You quickly grab your bag and head to the kitchen to grab a slightly-more-nutritious than air breakfast. But you soon find yourself flinching as you pass the living room couch that Tobin and Julie are still occupying. You walk with a little more pep into the kitchen where you’re sure you can find some sort of yogurt or at the very least toast. After a few seconds of rummaging you come up with one possibly stale piece of what you hope is supposed to be whole wheat bread and some peanut butter. 

Just as you begin to spread the peanut butter Julie walks into the kitchen practically glaring at you. 

'Great no escaping now I have to finish'

You start to basically just slather on large, unhealthy, amounts of peanut butter onto your piece of bread.

"Christen...”

Julie’s voice trails off in a way that you know she's not contemplating her words. She’s waiting for you to acknowledge whatever it is she thinks you've done wrong this time. If you could've just dumped the peanut butter on you would have done it by now. 

"Christen Anne Marie!"

You roll your eyes at Julie's strange need to act exactly like your mother.

"What J! Look, you know I don't do thee whole crying thing"

She looks at you and her expression becomes slightly harder, and it probably would've scared you a little more if you didn't just have the night from hell (more like the night from Kelley's Ex).

"Go talk to her, NOW"

And honestly if it was anyone else you probably would have just taken your peanut butter with a side of bread and left, but it was Julie. And there was no getting out of this one.

 

So you roll your eyes again, more for yourself than at anyone else, and make your way into the living room.

 

You see Tobin first, before you see anything else, but it had been that way for quite some time now. She's sitting upright now, sniffling a little, but if you couldn't hear that you wouldn't even know she had been crying. 

‘Good, I can deal with sniffling, just no tears, PLEASE GOD NO TEARS'

Her eyes won’t meet yours and something is off, you can see it in the way her muscles stiffen up upon realization you are watching her, her eyes immediately meet the ground with no sight of leaving it. 

"Tobin... What happened?"

You’re not sure who is hurting more at this point. Your heart breaks at the thought of Tobin in any sort of dramatic downward spiral. Your words are gentle and slow.

She goes to respond, and her mouth opens but no words come out. She closes her mouth again looks further away from you. 

Captiously, you approach her, as if moving too fast might shatter her. Despite your uncomfortable situation you can't deny that even now she looks absolutely beautiful. You quickly shake these thoughts from your head as you slowly sit down next to her. You put one hand on her knee that was pulled up to her chest. She flinches at the contact so you quickly pull back. And just as your about to give up and walk away she grabs your hand and slowly places it back on her knee. 

You ignore the swell it causes in your heart, in fact you ignore everything inside of you that wants to just kiss her and make everything bad go away. 

And while you thought you were starting to become acquainted with this close proximity, nothing could have prepared you for the overwhelming amount of emotions that her piercing watery hazel eyes cause within your heart. 

Your eyes immediately grow sad upon the flood of emotions and you’re not sure but you think you register her hand reaching up to your neck. You’re not sure what would've happened if you would have tried to move your eyes, but along with the rest of your body they are completely frozen. 

Her eyes dart below yours and if you didn't know better you would've thought she was looking at your lips. And if you REALLY didn't know better, you would swear that her lips are slowly getting closer to yours. And you almost, ALMOST, think that you just saw her lick her lips- just a little. But you are almost certain that her hand that was previously on your neck is now tracing down your jaw line in a tantalizingly slow manner. 

But it’s fleeting and you’re not really sure but you could've sworn you saw her jump back a little bit when your phone starts to dramatically buzz in your lap. 

 

 

 

Of course it was your own doing that would stop what your positive could have been one of the most amazing moments of your college life. An alarm that you had set to go off on weekdays lets you know that you have exactly 20 minutes until your class which happens to be about a 20 minute walk. 

You gulp for really no other reason than the gravity of what was about to happen. And as you stare down at your phone and silence the alarm your eyes involuntarily wander back up to Tobin's. She looks so lost it pains you.

“Tobs I... I have class... We need to talk. Later okay?"

She only slowly nods her head and quickly loses the eye contact.

You stare straight ahead for only a minute, trying to figure out what the hell was going on, until your feet finally remember how to walk and your mind scrutinizing you to get to class.

As you sit in class your mind only seems to wander (more than usual) and land (as it always does) on a hazel eyed girl crying on your coach.   
‘Why was Tobin crying? Was she about too… yes, yea she definitely was. Isn’t she straight? Why would she come back to my apartment? Wasn’t she all over than guy last night?’  
You decide to just put your head down after about 10 minutes of trying to block out all the unanswered questions buzzing in your head. And just then (of course right?) your phone vibrates.

J- WTF WAS THAT ON THE COUCH?!?!?!  
C- Please! You tell me. What did she say to you? And why did she come to our apt?  
J- She was looking for u… she didn’t say why… next thing I know she starts crying... v weird.

You put your phone away and stare up at the board. Realizing you actually know what going on you start to take notes.

At about 12 you get out of class and start to walk back to your apartment. Tobin is gone when you get there much to your… relief? 

You change into something a little sexier (anything was an upgrade from the sweatpants you wore to class) and get ready for whatever coffee with Kelley insinuated.

 

The walk was only about five minutes so you wait until 12:56 to start walking. About half way there you actually start to get nervous about meeting Kelley, Sober that is.

You see her before she sees you, and she’s wearing a snapback similar to last night but there’s something extremely attractive about her mix of feminine clothing out in broad day light.

Ripped jeans with a plain black t and a black snapback completed what you had deemed to be a very Kelley look, she stood there holding two coffees and what appeared to be a muffin.

A few steps later she sees you and as you walk closer she continues to stare you up and down without so much as a greeting. You almost start laughing when you realize she almost dropped the coffee in her right hand. 

Her eyes meet your and there’s this Deja vu moment where the cockiness in her smirk makes you a little weaker than you would ever acknowledge out loud. 

“Hi Christen…”

Her voice trails off and you almost let her catch you staring at her mouth, almost.

“Hi Kelley”

She hands you the coffee in her left hand and you raise your eyebrow at the gesture.

“I could’ve gotten my own coffee.”

“My treat, plus whatever you were going to order has no comparison to what your about to drink.”

You find yourself smiling at both her boldness and kindness, and you accept the coffee. She was right, it WAS amazing, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to tell her that. 

“Mm... I’ve had better.”

Her smirk grows a little, she accepts the challenge.

“Are you sure about that? Because I’m not sure you’ve really HAD it yet. Because I know if you did, there would be no comparison.”

The shine in her eyes are only emphasized with her step toward you and her now close proximity. The sexual connotation is not lost on you. You take another sip of the coffee and let out a small moan of approval, reveling in the way Kelley’s eyes quickly turn something more predatory and dark. 

Just as her mouth opens to say something that would no doubt make you a little turned on, her phone buzzes and just like that the look in her eyes is lost and is replaced by something a little more serious. 

“That’s my boss. I have to cover a shift in 30 minutes…-

Ashe pauses for a second, as if contemplating her next move.  
-I Would REALLY like to see you again”

The smirk on her face both sincere and playful this time.

“Come to my party this Friday”

And it’s not really a question, so when Kelley lightly kisses your cheek and walks away you feel absolutely no need to respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as some of you know this has been an extremely long time coming... so i am sorry. If this gets enough response than expect another update within a week.


	3. Decisions decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically just blue balls and angst sry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, back again, just to piss everyone offf with a shitty chapter that you had to wait like 4 months for <3

By the time you get home Friday afternoon your pretty sure you might kill the next person you see. 

The professor for your last class of the day just so happened to show up 15 minutes late, and then decided that meant your class would go 15 minutes past when it was supposed to end. 

Your frustrated and mad, but above all, so fucking nervous. 

 

Kelley's party is tonight. And it's not so much the idea of getting drunk and having fun that scares the shit out of you, it's more so the fact that Kelley invited you and, just this morning, you found out that Tobin was also coming via an indirect invitation. 

Julie had already given you the speech in between your lunch and final class. 

About how you should 'stay with Tobin'

The whole situation is starting to feel a little too ironic for you. Your infatuation for Tobin had lasted close to a year now, and Julie had practically forced you to not make a move on her. 

'Chris you have to respect her decisions'

'Christen I know she's beautiful but there are plenty of beautiful girls on campus, don't lose your friend'

You smirk a little to yourself, realizing that Julie had become the angel sitting on your right shoulder. 

You briefly consider not going tonight, the impending doom a little too obvious, but just as the thought enters your mind, it's gone. 

Because if there's one thing your ONE HUNDRED percent certain of, you are ready to get over Tobin Heath. 

Ok maybe it's for like 90%, because images of Tobin almost kissing you flash into your mind every time someone says her name. 

You let yourself get a little carried away, sitting there on your couch, thinking about how her hands would feel on your hips, or the way her lips would feel on your neck, and you barely even register Julie opening the front door. 

 

"Christennn! I'm home and guess what I brought"

Your head snaps up, your eyes still a bit foggy

"Please say alcohol"

She side eyes you with a bit of a smirk on her face. 

"As a matter of fact it is time to start pregaming, so here you go"

She pulls down a shot glass and pours it for you. Then, seeming to realize that you were just staring at a blank tv screen, she gives you a questioning look. 

"Chris why haven't you started getting ready"

You fumble just a little before you finally remember to speak. 

"Uh I was waiting for you to help me pick out something to wear."

She must buy it, because next thing you know a full shot glass is placed in your hand and your other is being drug to your own room. 

 

 

About an hour later your being pushed out the door because 'The party already started and zack is waiting for us'

Just as your pulling up to the house, you realize that this is pretty much exactly what you expected from the cocky freckled girl. 

 

Speakers blaring, red cups scattering all visible parts of the front and back lawn. Lights on in all upstairs rooms and cars parked in all surrounding spots. 

You come back to Julie's voice just in time for the ending part of her rant to hear her last words. 

"Christen just please don't hurt her."

"Wow really J. You want ME to not hurt HER." 

You shake your head bitterly and open your door to get out. Julie follows your actions and speed walks to get in step with you. 

 

"Christen... HEY"

She grabs your wrists and spins you around. 

You stare her straight In the eyes. 

"I know what I'm asking isn't fair. But don't you think.. Chris what if Tobin.."

 

She's interrupted by the loud unmistakeable sound of a firework going off. 

You look up at the sky, and at all the colors filling it, wondering how in the hell the cops haven't been called yet. 

But you seize the opportunity and take the remaining steps into the thumping house. 

Once inside it's easy to not be seen. 

You squeeze your way into the kitchen, pour yourself your second shot, and decide that tonight is for you, not her. 

You know quite a few of the girls here, many of them the same as the last party you were at with Kelley. 

The attire here is slightly different, but just as tempting. 

Girls in short shorts and crop tops and all sorts of skin grazing yours as your passed, receiving a few smirks. 

It's not until your get to the basement however, that you realize this is where you should've come first. 

As you walk the final steps, it's like there's a spotlight on just one girl. 

She's sitting there, smoke slowly breathed out of her lips, SnapBack and jeans, surrounded by a group of guys and girls. 

Laughing at something probably not that funny. Her smile brightens the room and involuntarily translates to your face. 

And just then she looks up at you and it takes your breathe away. 

 

And then, for the very first time ever, the girl in the spotlight isn't Tobin. 

It's Kelley, and god is she every bit as breathtaking. 

You would never tell her though, in an attempt to tame her ego you smirk a little and start to walk towards her in the smoke filled room. 

She excuses herself from the circle of friends and makes her way toward you. 

"Christen, I was wondering if you were gonna show"

Her eyes are bright despite their slightly glazed over high, her hand not holding a blunt gently reaches toward you and possessively grazes the skin just under your crop top just above your hip. 

 

You follow her eyes down your body, the same amount of playfulness as that first night in the shack. Her fingertips move slowly up and down your hip to your shirt, and suddenly the room is just a little suffocated. 

You lean forward into her ear, just like that night. 

"Well initially I was concerned for my safety coming to another party you are at."

You hear a low chuckle come from her lips and it washes over your ear and turns your whole face red. 

Luckily it's a little dimly lit in Kelley's basement. 

"Can I..."  
You reach down to her other hand, the one that's not still toying with your senses. 

You take a hit, and blow it out down between you and Kelley. 

She raises an eyebrow at you. 

"Do you wanna sit?"

It's less of a question and more of a command as Kelleys hand encompasses the bare skin around your abdomen and pulls you down on top of her lap. 

She takes a hit and gently guides you by the back of your neck up to her lips. You breathe in the shotgun, just an inch between your lips. You let it out slow to the left of both of you and Kelley takes the opportunity to gently suck on your neck. 

"Shit.."

You hiss and then trail off. Kelleys tongue gently drawing circles on your skin. 

"Is this ok Christen"

And it's not that you don't mind the large amount of people around you right now, you just simply don't care. 

And Kelley's tongue is persistent, and it's driving you crazy, so you take the blunt from her hand and put in in the cup on the table behind you. 

You stand up and grab her hand gently. 

She gets up, clearly confused, and stands as close to you as possible. 

 

"Kelley I want you to take me upstairs to your room"

You pull back and her eyes are a bit wide, dark and dangerous, but still unable to hide her surprise. You watch her throat move as she swallows hard. 

And something inside of you just clicks and your really not sure when you grew the confidence, but you latch your teeth onto the skin of her neck and bite it. 

Right in front of everyone. 

And you don't even care. 

 

Her breathing hitches and she suddenly picks you up by both thighs and starts to carry you up the steps to the main floor. 

"You really should get some new moves O'Hara, if this was Groundhog Day I would be getting hit in the head with a bottle in a minute"

You go back to attacking her neck, completely blind to the masses that Kelley is carrying you past. 

You feel her chest vibrate a bit with a laugh and you applaud yourself for making the beautiful girl smile. 

"It's gonna take a lot more than a glass bottle to keep me from getting you upstairs"

And just the way she said it, so deep and slow and meticulously, that it makes you want, no. NEED. More of Kelley on you. 

You buck your hips into her slowly, and you feel her pause just for a minute. 

She's practically panting in your ear when she pulls her head back to look at you in the eye. 

They're dark and predatory. And it's exactly what you want. 

You take the moment to realize your just at the base of the stairs leading to the upstairs. 

Kelley has you pinned against the wall, your legs still wrapped around her. 

"Your not just gonna let me be in charge are you"

It's not really a question, just more of an observation. 

Something people often assumed about Christen was that, because of her personality or her clothes or even her voice, she was a bottom. 

And it didn't necessarily bother her, she could swing both ways, but she sure as hell loved the feeling of being in control. 

 

"Not a chance in hell stud"

 

Kelley smirks down at you. You feel her hips press into yours against the wall. And it drives you to the edge. 

"Kelley upstairs. Now"

Kelley, obviously not appreciative of your tone returns the dominance, whispering slowly in your ear so no one else can hear. 

"What if I just want to fuck you right here"

She seals it by licking the length of your ear and kissing right between where your jaw and your neck meet. And you can't fight the goosebumps that span down your arms and legs. 

And you know she feels them too. 

But what you didn't expect Kelley to feel was a rather heavy tap on her shoulder. 

Her eyes leave yours and her head turns to meet the hazel eyes that you know TOO well. 

"Shiittt" just audibly leaves your lips for Kelley to hear. 

She lets you don't gently. 

Your legs feel heavy now. And your not sure when but at some point your body had gotten used to Kelleys hands holding you up

 

The hazel eyes are not gentle right now, in fact they are anything but. 

They are hurt, so you are hurt. 

They are mad, so you are embarrassed. 

Her eyes tell the story of all the emotions you had wished she had. 

Past tense. 

 

Kelley steps to the side and you are left face to face with the eyes that can pierce your soul. 

Kelley doesn't say a word, just watches slowly as you can't return the contact to those eyes and instead look at the ground. 

That's when she finally steps in. 

"Can I help you"

The words leave Kelley's lips like a challenge, but you know for a fact that Tobin is drunk. 

"Um YEA. Actually you can, start by backing the fuck off of her."

The words strike you as so foreign you have to remind yourself that this is actually happening. 

Kelley's face hardens and the fire in her eyes is replaced by a new kind of calm. One that would normally set you on edge. 

She opens her mouth, to no doubt multiply the tension of the situation, when a panicked looking Julie with wide eyes and running legs finally latches onto Tobin's shoulders. 

"Fuck.... guys I am so sorry, come on let's go back to the-"

"No"

Tobin says it with such finality and simplicity that it almost makes you think she had a legitimate reason for stopping you and Kelley. 

 

"No tobs, come on look we didn't finish the game yet, Matt is looking for-"

"I don't care."

For someone who had so clearly been drinking she spoke with a power that made your legs feel just a little bit heavier. 

"Christen. Let's go"

 

And here it is. This moment that you had waited for for almost a year. 

She was finally choosing you. 

This girl who had become your moon and stars, the same girl who you knew barely thought of you at all. 

And your high yes, but not high enough to forget. 

All the times you had chosen her, and she had simply closed the door. 

And it grew this fire within you, this ugly jealousy that you had tried so hard for a year to get over. 

But now it was out. 

"Your DRUNK Tobin, go home."

You thought your words would sting her, and maybe it's the alcohol in her system, but she remains still. Focused only on your eyes. 

 

"I'm not going home unless you come with me"

Your becoming more lost in her eyes. More pathetic. 

Julie's eyes are slightly panicked, but just more curios now. 

 

You turn to Kelley. 

 

Because in this moment it's easy for you to pretend to her that your bringing your FRIEND Tobin home, so she doesn't get in any trouble. 

The look in your eyes is enough for Kelley to know that your not staying tonight. 

 

And the hurt in your eyes is enough for you to know that she knows. 

Kelley knows you just chose someone else over her. 

But the pain is masked quickly as she waits for your words. 

"I should really get her home..."

Kelley's eyes remain the same. 

But her hands reach for your ribs and jaw, pulling you in for a long kiss. One that would end with your cheeks on fire and your bottom lip still between her teeth. 

"Thanks for coming tonight"

Her stony expression turns to one of pure class as she also thanks Julie, and cautiously a very jealous looking Tobin. 

"I'll text you"

You say it with finality and a hand on her abs. 

You don't receive an ok, just a small nod and a sullen smile. 

 

You slowly leave the safety that had become physical contact with Kelley, as you head towards the front door on your way back to Tobin's apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriosly was gonna keep going w this one but idk where to take it. I wanna play more with the osolo and grow the talex a little. But we'll see. 
> 
> Anyways love u guys a lot. Sorry it takes me forever to find inspiration for my stories. Just lmk what u want and don't be afraid to share weirder ideas because I feel like a lot of stuff on here is all the same. Love u guys and lmk if u want a continue on this or focus on a different one.


	4. I can’t be yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one kind of closes out the preath portion of the fic. Of course it will still be relevant but this kind of sets the scene for the rest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If your still reading this you’re far more patient than I. But this one Is for all my preath fans, even though it’s a bit of a sour ending.

In the time that Christen has known Tobin, a lot has changed. 

Well, to a certain extent nothing has changed and perhaps that’s really the irony of the whole situation, unchanging. 

But no, somethings have changed. For example, Christen has come out to her family and most friends. She had known since junior year that maybe guys just weren’t for her, but there was always a missing peace. Something holding her back from proclaiming this part of herself to the people she cared about. 

Looking back she thinks that piece might be Tobin. 

 

Senior year of high school, Christen met a girl.  
Well, not really met because how can you actually meet someone in a small high school l in California where you already know everyone even if you don’t know them. Her name was Rachel and she played basketball. And it really doesn’t take much more than that when your both just starting to realize that there’s something THIS good that you’ve been missing. 

Rachel snuck a kiss one night when the two of them were in Christens room, and after that it just kind of flowed. 

And don’t get her wrong, Rachel was hot, but there wasn’t much more than the mere “First Love” relationship. 

The breakup was inevitably when the shiny coating started to wear off. When they couldn’t go on real dates and hold hands and make out shamelessly sitting in the back of a movie theater. 

And at the time Christen was sure it felt like heartbreak, but looking back she feels no sense of regret about it. Just understanding. 

So it would make sense that Rachel wasn’t quite that piece, the one that would really push her over that terrifying edge. 

Christen met Tobin one of the very first weeks of freshman year. Her then new friend Julie, had met a then new boy named Zack. 

And even now Christen holds a grudge to how the following events played out. 

Julie invited Zack and “some guys” over to their shared apartment for a small get together. Which really, Christen had learned, just meant drinking games.  
The small twist was that she failed to mention this to Christen. So when Christen heard loud noise from outside her door, she took off her ear buds and simply walked out into the main room. 

Here she found two large guys and a girl. 

The girls name would become important later, but right now Christens attire was her main concern. 

Christen looks down at her sweat pants and practically see through tank, her pajamas, and then looks up to see the eyes of this girl starring back at hers. 

The sparkle in them freezing Christen in her spot. 

As far as christens first impressions go this was one of the all time lows, and yet for some reason it felt like a high. And the moment her cheeks become red she turns her legs and practically jogs back to her door. 

 

The next day she asked her parents to meet her for lunch. 

The next week she told them that she liked girls. 

Christen knew her parents would be accepting, and it wasn’t exactly a scary coming out process. But she needed a push, a missing piece. 

Right now Christen thinks she understands why Tobin was that piece for her, even during the time she barely knew her. Right now with Tobin’s fingers pressed possessively between hers. 

The walk back to Tobins apartment is a bit longer than Christen expected. But Tobin seems to know the way even in her intoxication, and it’s really not that bad out. 

‘She does this all the time. Your fine”

Christen repeated it over and over in her head. Holding hands with Tobin was a normal occurrence. Honestly she should be used to it by now. But a bit of paranoia takes over and christens sure her heart beat must be prominent on her hands. 

The walk is mostly silent, from a combination of christens deep thinking and the tension filled events of the party they had just left. 

But before Christen has a chance to consider what’s about to happen they’re back at Tobin’s apartment. And before Christen has a chance to say goodbye Tobin’s pulling her inside. 

The apartment is standard. A small ‘living room’ and then a room with two beds. 

Christens getting a little agitated. And it takes her a minute but she realizes it’s because Tobin has yet to say a word. Not a freaking word. 

But they’ve stopped walking, hell moving at all, and maybe it’s because neither of them are completely sober that no one talks. 

And Tobin’s hand remains in Christen’s . 

And just as Christen turns her body toward Tobin to ask her a multitude of questions, Tobin’s hand that wasn’t in christens reaches out and gently presses into christens cheek. 

Christen closes her mouth. Effectively halting the hundreds of thoughts and questions she has. 

The hand grazes down to the base of christens neck, and Christen feels her legs growing a little weak. 

“Tobin..”

It’s weak. A weak plea, and she knows it. Because Tobin takes about a half step toward her and that’s all it takes. 

A half a step. 

And then Tobins eyes are closed and her lips are so close to christens that the slightest movement would cause something Christen has wanted for so long. 

Tobin’s breath on her face was making it much harder to focus on the idea that this was really happening. Christen can feel the tips of Tobin’s fingers gently push into the skin on her neck. Enough to bring her face closer to those lips. Tobin’s lips graze christens and that’s enough for Christen who then puts a hand on Tobin’s side, just above her hip. 

Christen gently presses her lips into Tobin’s, and it completely shatters every imagination of the moment. 

 

Her lips are soft and giving, but after a moment they become commanding. 

Tobin presses her lips harder into christens. Her breathing slightly labored. 

She pulls Christen closer with the hand on her neck and Christen moves her hand just a little lower, onto Tobin’s hip. 

Christens not sure how much more of this she can take. The anticipation of this moment potentially happening had been on her mind since freshman year. 

 

And it’s only when Tobin opens her mouth slightly that Christen can taste it. The unmistakeable flavor of cheap vodka and something sweet like coke. 

And just like that she takes a half step back. 

Tobin doesn’t open her eyes for a moment and keeps her hand on christens neck. 

Christens eyes open slowly. She can feel herself growing sad at the scene unfolding. 

She drops her hands from Tobin’s body. 

Tobin’s eyes open slowly and her eyebrows crease a little at christens actions. Christens hand reaches up to her own neck and hangs onto Tobin’s hand for a second before slowly lowering it away from her. 

“Tobin I can’t do this”

Her eyes grow a sadness that you never wanted to be the cause of. 

“Chris I.. I want this.”

A small sad smile takes up christens face as her eyes close. She composes herself for this conversation she never wanted to have. 

 

“Is this because of that girl? Chris.. please look at me”

Tobin’s eyes hold this pleading notion, one that Christen is sure could break down this armor she’s pretending to have. 

“This isn’t because of Kelley, this is for me”

Tobin’s eyebrows crease immediately this time and her eyes grow. 

“Oh, you don’t.. with me you don’t-“

And Christen chuckles a little. 

Not in a spiteful way, but in the way a starving man would if he was offered a food that he was allergic to. 

Realizing her mistake before Tobin can possibly take it the wrong way, Christen reaches out her hand to Tobin’s. 

“I have feeling for you”

It was a simple statement, which only added slightly to how ironic this tragic love story was becoming. Simply to speak of her feelings for Tobin in the elegance of ‘feelings’ felt childish, but it was true nonetheless. 

“Like real feelings Tobin.. I just- I’m not-“

Tobin swiftly steps forward and holds christens face with both hands. 

Her lips press into Christen’s and Christen can feel her eyes starting to water. Knowing well there’s only one way this can end. 

She uses her hand to anchor herself but also to push Tobin arms length away from her face 

“Your drunk” the words softly leave Christen’s lips. 

“I’ve wanted this for a while” the earnest truthful look in Tobin’s eyes is masked by the way they slowly move from each of Christen’s features. 

“I can’t be your experiment.”

 

And there it was, the root of the problem, the reason there was a problem to begin with. 

She could deal with all the canceled hangouts they had planned so Tobin could go to diner with some guy. She could deal with holding Tobin’s hand when they were alone. She could deal with helplessly making a fool of herself every time she took friendly gestures as more than just friendly. She could deal with the pain and she could deal with the self hatred. The kind of self hatred that can only come from loving someone who can’t love you back. She could deal with all of it. 

But she couldn’t deal with letting it get further. 

It was a dangerous game and Christen knew that allowing Tobin to use her, no matter how pure her intentions, would destroy what was left of her. 

Christen would always be Tobin’s Rachel. 

 

“I think I should go”

Christens eyes meet Tobin’s, a bigger part of her than she would ever admit, begging Tobin to stop her. To grab her hand and tell her that it was always Christen. And that it would continue to be Christen even if Christen wouldn’t have her. 

 

But Tobin doesn't grab her hand. And Tobin’s eyes aren’t those of a broken heart. They’re heavy and somewhat unsettlingly understanding. 

“I’m sorry”

And Christen doesn’t say it okay. Not because it wasn’t okay but more because it is. 

It’s okay. 

A small sad smile forms again on christens face and her eyes heavily leave Tobin’s. 

Her legs carry her even when she’s not sure she wants to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a rough one, a lot of it comes from a bit of resentment I still have (as if that wasn’t obvious). I think First Love is a hard subject and it’s different for everyone, but this was just mine.  
> Anyway pls comment where you want to see Kelley and Christen going! And please don’t beg me for preath because writing anymore of this will break me lol <3

**Author's Note:**

> Lol okay so kinda just made that up as I wrote. thoughts? Ships? Suggestions? Idk why Tobin's crying do you?


End file.
